Dec 1, 2020
Lisa Herrington is a mom, co-owner of a fitness studio, author, and an incredible human being with a beautiful soul. Lisa is the mom to 4 children that she raises here on earth and one angel baby and if you didn’t know about this one major life event in Lisa’s life, you would never imagine she had experienced such a life-changing tragedy. She is my friend and weekly motivator, and radiates with the biggest smile I have ever seen. She truly inspires everyone around her.
Lisa is getting real and vulnerable by sharing the story of losing her firstborn, a twin boy at birth, to an umbilical cord accident. Her life changed eight years ago and she has dealt with a grief that is unknown to most of us. Lisa is the true definition of resilience and strength. Join us as we talk about Lisa’s story of how she has created such joy after experiencing immense grief and how her family honors her son, Brady.
Let's talk about resilience and overcoming grief!
What we're talking about
- Lisa’s Journey Through Grief After Losing Her Child
- Your Amazing Itty Bitty Grief Book
- Ways To Honor Your Loved Ones
Lisa’s Journey Through Grief After Losing Her Child
After struggling to get pregnant, Lisa and her husband, Greg, were happily expecting fraternal twins. Her doctor described her as the model for a healthy twin pregnancy. Unexpectedly, during her 3rd trimester, her water broke and her world changed in an instant when she lost her firstborn to a rare prolapsed cord. It was waking up in a nightmare.
They had two days with their son Brady, and while she was thrust into this grief, Lisa was also a new mom to Brady’s twin brother, Luke. She felt like she went to war every day, but knew she had to get up each morning. She had a duty as a mom and Luke saved her in the sense that she had a bigger job than herself. She was Luke’s mom.
During this time, her grief was heavy and it outweighed her joy. Lisa’s world felt like it had shifted and that her identity had changed, because she didn’t know who she was anymore. That first year after losing Brady was mentally tough. Lisa learned that you need to give yourself grace while you are going through the grief process.
In the beginning, she felt tethered to the grief, but now she finds that she can walk beside it or it walks behind her. Her heart has become filled with so many other things that have brought joy into her life. Looking back on the process, she now appreciates the journey and the empathy for others that it has brought into her life. Lisa is the epitome of resilience.
“Your Amazing Itty Bitty Grief Book”
While Lisa traveled the tough road of grief, she found herself wanting to provide a resource for people who don’t know what to say to their friends and family in their moments of grief. She had found that her family and friends didn’t know what to say or do, and she didn’t have the energy in her grief to tell them what she needed.
Lisa reminds us that just because a person has passed away, it doesn’t mean that the people closest to the loss aren’t thinking about them. Oftentimes people won’t know what to say, so they might not come around. Lisa’s book offers a pragmatic and helpful way to support those around you who are experiencing grief.
When we experience loss, a void is created in our lives. While not everyone experiences grief the same way, it’s important to show up and just let them know that you’re there for them when they are ready. 2020 has challenged us all and it has been incredibly tough for those facing grief. We are seeing people pass away alone, which is hard for everyone involved. While we work through our grieving process, it’s important to remember that we all need to keep showing up.
Ways To Honor Your Loved Ones
Lisa and her husband wanted their children to grow up knowing about their brother Brady. They shared with their children that he had passed away due to a cord accident and that he is still part of their family. They find special and different ways to honor him throughout the year.
During the holidays, the Herrington family hang a stocking with notes of gratitude, which they share on Christmas. They also celebrate Brady Day, May 12th every year, where they make a monetary donation in his honor. Now that Luke is older, he chooses where the donation goes. These traditions work for their family, and Lisa shares that something positive comes out of their grief and sadness.
Some traditions don’t feel right, and Lisa shares that you have permission never to do them again. You need to find the traditions that work for your family. The more you create joy, the more you will look forward to that day and the tradition.
Another tool Lisa recommends is movement which is the key to creating happiness. Movement can be a big part of the grieving process and coaching yourself to feel better. Lisa asks us all to carve out time to do something different, create a new tradition, and create our joy.
Remember, you are not alone, and you have the power to create joy around your grief. Go listen to episode 3, “Why I Love Funerals: What You Can Learn From Them & How I Want To Be Remembered,” and get to know each other while we are still here on earth. If you need a listening ear, reach out to Lisa, or myself; we are here for you.
LINKS MENTIONED
https://www.themslcollective.com/ep03/
https://www.instagram.com/lisaherrington/
Lisa Herrington’s Book “Your Amazing Itty Bitty® Grief Book”